Yeah, I’m like 10 years late on this one, but I’ve finally gotten into podcasts. On my post-work walks I listen to old episodes of Conan Needs a Friend.
In an episode with Stephen Colbert, Conan talked about how early in his career, his dream was to be a writer on Letterman. He had written a packet and sent it off, and he felt that once he was a writer on Letterman, he would have made it. When he got passed, he was devastated.
Conan speaks of that rejection now as one of the best things that ever happened to him. Because he didn’t get that post, he later went to SNL and there one of the producers plucked him to later have his own show on late night.
He says upon reflection that there was no real endgame, no distinct final goal. Things just happen and you are lucky if you can keep going.
When Conan gave his packet to Letterman, he put his future in the hands of others. He felt that was the only way to achieve the career in the entertainment industry he desired. When it didn’t happen, he had to look to other options.
Cue personal segue. Years ago, I really wanted to be a reader for a literary journal. I applied to every open call a journal posted on Twitter. I completed their applications and elaborated on the books I read, some essays I enjoyed recently, what it was that captivated me about them, etc. Hours of my life went into crafting a strong application. And I never got accepted. There were a lot of messages of “you made it to the top 10, but no” and well, that’s still a no.
Mind you, these were rejections for a VOLUNTEER POSITION. My self-esteem was through the roof.
After getting rejected from almost every residency I applied to just out of grad school, I got into Vermont Studio Center with a small financial-aid package. After a review of my finances, I saw it as manageable. I hung out with a bunch of other writers while attempting to hide my imposter syndrome. One of the people I met was the Editor-in-Chief for Hypertext Review. While the summer heat faded and the leaves changed color, I befriended this amazing human-person. We had the same vibe about the world. we stayed in touch after the residency, and one day, I wrote to her and asked if I could be a reader for her journal. She agreed.
It started easy. They didn’t get many submissions in nonfiction, so I read for both. The Managing Editor would assign me a handful, give me a deadline. I read and reviewed their journal to get a sense of the kind of stuff they accepted. I would write back to the Managing Editor asking for more work.
Within six months, I became the Nonfiction Editor.
I have my dreams for my literary career. I know what I hope will happen. But I’m also open to meeting people and allowing things to unfold in ways I can’t predict. My work as an editor has allowed me opportunities to connect with fellow writers and have intense discussions about my job as an editor. Some would call it a gatekeeper.
But I don’t wish for the publishing process to come off as vague. I had a chance to talk with Becky at her newsletter Lit Mag News, which I highly recommend subscribing for if you want more insight into the publishing business. When I can, I will also offer advice in this newsletter.
Stay well, friends.
Thanks for this generous post, Anita. Interestingly, my Yogi tea bag from earlier today vibed on a similar wavelength: "give thanks for unknown blessings that are already on the way" (let me hasten to add that I think Yogi may have borrowed this from a Native American prayer). Here's to staying open and not taking rejections as a resounding referendum on one's value or future.