Eight months ago, my husband of 11 years told me our marriage was dead.
I write this newsletter from an apartment in Barcelona, funded with another fellowship that encourages my creative pursuits. When I put it like that, it probably sounds like I’m moving forward. But grief returns when I least expect it. The aftershocks from this life change has bled into my creative writing. For over a year now, I have struggled to write a decent essay.
I recently came across the question: Who are you without needing anything outside of you? What a thought. Who are you without locating yourself within a career, relationships, or achievements?
Lately, I’ve been working to get to the core of my being, understand a sense of self I hadn’t really noticed before. I’m taking more chances. I live with a roommate now and joined her in beginner level Sevillian dance classes. I don’t expect to get any good at it, but I want to feel more comfortable in my body. I’ve booked trips to see friends living on this continent without stressing about money. I’m working on a novel where I get excited every day to meet my characters.
I know I’ve been quiet on this newsletter (and most of my social media). I don’t feel I owe anyone any explanation. However, I do wish to return to sharing about incredible work I’ve read lately, like Savage Tongues by Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi (I wrote a book review recently with the chance to discuss some of the elements that really stood out in this novel.) It’s behind a paywall now, but I also recommend Debra Gwartney’s “Fire and Ice” about the recent passing of her husband.
I hope you continue on this journey with me. Reach out. Let me know if you find any incredible writing I may have missed. Or let me know if there are any topics you’d like me to discuss. The writing community has been so uplifting for me during this huge transition and I hope to give back when possible.